American Independence Day

To celebrate American Independence Day I'm going get up put my feet on my Vaccumed carpet and open my curtains and then have a traditional American meal: French fries, Hamburger, Apple pie and I might even be tempted with a drink out of my theormos flask a Jack Daniels, and later English Muffins with butter, cream tea whilst having the light Bulb on whilst playing Call of Duty or Tomb Raider or watching James Bond on my TV or go on Autotrader before i go for a ride on my bike on a Tarmac road with its pneumatic tyres whilst reading up on English Law and polishing my gun and later I may tend my garden and cut my lawn. I'll put on my spectacles so I can see the steam ship sail past whilst I go around the roundabout. May be see David Beckham play a football match in which feet actually come into contact with the ball and drinking my Lager out of a cut glass tankered playing various card games on my carpet or on my sprung mattress whilst on a Iron suspension bridge with a train going past,  which will scare my Bull Dog and get my Pacemaker twitching. I go for a drive in my Aston Martin, Jaguar, Range Rover, Land Rover, McClaren, Lotus, Triumph, MG, Rolls Royce Using my brake discs and avoiding Cats Eyes or Mini, whilst listerning my music on a HMV Stereo to the Beatles, Davy Jones in the Monkees, Blur, Oasis, Phill Collins, Boy George, Bananarama, The Beegees, George Micheal, Elton John, Slash, Rolling Stones, Wham, Spice Girls, Take That, Robbie Williams, I might for a flight in a Jet Plane or for a ride on my horse with a Saddle to my local Bank or Post Office to buy a Stamp to put on my Envelope if it does not stick I can use some super glue or just write on a Yellow Post it Note . I could drop some depth charinness your submarinesnear you or send you a Fax, if you get I'll I can give you some penicillin keep you warm by dressing you in polyester or Nylon Made on a sewing machine and keep you dry with an umbrella and i could wipe my arse on toilet paper, i can even take some Viagra and Fuck you ! Of course i could list thing for hours as all the things mentioned things British inventions (except the Fries and Burger and of course don't forget Arnie with his muscles is Austrian) So you can see you are so independent, Enjoy your Day !